I'm at that point in my move where the things missing are just annoying: Wite Out, ONE of my black dress shoes, my flip camera... I still have lots of boxes, but what could possibly be in them? If I haven't needed the stuff in there yet, do I really need it? Oh yeah, but I'm still missing my shoe!
We have a LOT of stuff. We had more. But we still have way too much.
Originally, I thought we would be moving into a much smaller house, so I began to get rid of lots of things. When happened upon a very unique house with lots of storage space, I became less worried about getting rid of things first because I knew we could move them and then figure out what needed to stay or go. The house we moved into last month is a stilt house. If you've never seen one, imagine a huge garage on the first floor and living space the size of the garage on the second floor. This kind of house is convenient when you're surrounded by water and can't get flood insurance. In the event of a tidal surge with a hurricane, in theory, the living space upstairs would be high and dry. This means that everything that we love enough to use often needs to go up the wooden stairs on the outside of the building and in to the second floor. And that means that "Someone" needs to carry those beloved things up the stairs. Sometimes "Someone" can be persuaded to carry something up by telling them that there is food at the top (works well for some heavier objects). Beer is also a good reward, apparently. I think beer and food are really what got us moved in here. But I digress...
Something happens when you look at something that you don't really use or need and contemplate carrying it up the stairs (or asking someone else to carry it up the stairs) and then trying to find a spot for it. Like the treadmill. That oak roll top desk we never used. That really sturdy (read heavy) leather couch that seemed like a good idea when two big guys delivered it from the store into our one story house. The question begs to be asked: Do I really love this? Is this as important as it once seemed? Do I really want to carry it up all those steps?
We're all taught to be consumers from a very early age in our culture. We are taught that we need to buy more and more things and that these things will make our lives better, more fulfilled, easier. But more stuff is just more stuff. And having more stuff doesn't necessarily make things easier. Many times, it makes things more complicated as we struggle to keep up with it all.
Take socks, for example. Having more socks doesn't necessarily make life easier, I was thinking as I stared at the laundry basket full of them this morning. The huge mound of unmatched socks sits there completely listless, waiting for me to do something with them. Of course, we threw many unmatched socks out before we moved (probably all of the mates). If we had fewer socks, we would have fewer socks to try to keep track of and perhaps we would take better care of the ones we have.
Lots of our possessions didn't make the cut even out of the old house and I'm OK with that. I often think of something I read many years ago when I was first trying to figure out how I was supposed to keep my home clean and was reading, "Confessions of an Organized Homemaker" for the first time. The author, Deniece Schofield, said these memorable words: "The more you have, the more you have to take care of." Simple, yet profound. Even if it is just having several sheet sets, towels, or an extra set of silverware, to have it means that someone needs to take care of it. Someone= (probably) me.
The beautiful thing about our house right now is that I can easily do a trial run of finding out what I really need and what I don't. I can leave something down in the garage and see if I miss it enough to lug it up the stairs now that we're out of people hanging around looking for food (or beer). And I'm finding that many of the things that were brought upstairs are going to end up back downstairs unless they're proven worthy of keeping. And that feels good. Good bye to those things I no longer need!
We've sold the treadmill, the oak roll top desk, and many other things we just weren't using. And it feels really good. Having fewer things really makes a huge difference in my ability to keep up with it all because "someone" (read me) has to put them away, keep them clean, etc. We still have a ways to go, though. Less is more, right?
I still haven't found the Wite Out since I started writing this, but my one black shoe did finally show up. Now I just need to figure out where to put all of my clothes!
Have you let something go that you thought was really important in the past that you realized was just holding you back or weighing you down? How do you handle all the "stuff" in your life and letting it go when it is no longer serving you?
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Settling into our Simpler Life
We've been in our new house just over a week now. Things are still in boxes here and there, but I am already feeling like this is really HOME. Maybe for the first time in my life. For the longest time, I've wanted to live someplace that was all of these things. It is close enough to go somewhere without needing to get in the car (and it isn't considered strange to be on foot or bike). It is small and relatively quiet. It is close to the ocean- technically the Gulf of Mexico, but I'm not going to get too picky... We have lots of friends nearby- a community of like-minded people. And the space in our house suits the needs of our family very well.
Today we took our first family bike ride down the Pinellas Trail to a restaurant for lunch. Ryan has been wanting to do that since we moved in, but we've been a little busy trying to find our basic supplies from boxes (or remembering where we put them away...). It was great to get on our bikes and go somewhere together as a family leaving the car in the driveway! I need to get one of those little odometers for my bike so that I can see how far I'm actually riding. All I know is that I've put more miles on my bike in the past week than I have in the last 6 months!
And today, I took my first trip down to Steve's produce stand on my bike to buy our groceries for the week. That was an adventure in and of itself! Yesterday, Ryan put a basket on my bike so that I could carry things (mail, groceries, stray animals, etc...). Actually, it is a plastic milk crate because Ryan decided that a "basket" wouldn't hold up to the level of work I'm going to need it to do!
I'd guess that it is probably 2 1/2 miles to Steve's produce stand. With my bike properly outfitted, I headed down the Pinellas Trail, a 34 mile paved bike and foot path that goes right by the front of my neighborhood, with my shopping list in hand. My goal- to get most of the food for my family this week, excluding specialty items like "corn" chips without corn (we have some food allergies and some special diets going on at the moment), from the "produce" stand. Now, Steve's carries as much local produce as they can find, which is one of the reasons I'm choosing to shop there. They also have fresh squeezed tangerine juice (to die for), fresh herbs, free range eggs, and now chicken, all from local farmers. I also like the idea of supporting small local business owners when possible. My challenge- it all must fit in my basket or bags on my bike.
As I was riding to Steve's, I found myself wondering if this was really simpler. Is it simpler to jump in the car and go to Publix (1.2 miles from my house)? Maybe. It would take less time. But it would also mean jumping into the car and I really want to stay out of the car when possible. Is riding a bike the easiest way to simplify? Well, walking would take way too long. It would not be fun for me right now. That would be more complicated, since I'm still trying to get settled in my new home. And I'd be grouchy if I had to walk that far every time I needed a tomato. How did our ancestors travel? The lucky ones had a horse. As I thought about that, I decided that, for me right now, having a horse is way more complicated. Horse maintenance, horse-shoes, horse food, a barn, etc... really pushes it over the top. Bikes, on the other hand, don't need to be fed and need very little maintenance. Yes, simpler, I think. Going to stick with my bike.
I think being outside is better and simpler. I'm not burning any fossil fuels when I fire up my bike with Rebecca power. And I am outside in the fresh air the whole trip. (Steve's has a small part inside, but the rest of the shopping is outside, too.) I find that the mega stores are filled with lots of things that I don't really need, so not shopping there probably saves me money. What else do I need? Time outside. Fresh air. Exercise. And I need it to be meaningful. For me, jumping on a treadmill isn't my idea of fun. I'd rather have a purpose for my exercise or just skip it. I mean, our forefathers and fore...mothers didn't have treadmills or the gym and they were fit. They had to walk everywhere, they had to fetch their own water from the well or river, and just staying alive required them to move their bodies. Now, I really don't want to have to find a spring to get my water from at this point, but I think there is still a take home lesson here. As we've gotten more and more technology to "help" us with our daily living tasks, we spend less time moving our bodies. And I know that I spend far too much time indoors! So I've decided to use this opportunity to enjoy some outside time, shop as locally as possible, get some exercise, and complete a meaningful task.
I arrived at Steve's and found a basket to do my shopping. So many beautiful fruits and veggies today, but I worked hard to stick to my list. I had flashbacks of moving to Fort Lauderdale in 1994 as newlyweds when we had first gotten a convertible. We went to Walmart to buy things we needed for our new apartment, like trash cans, brooms and mops, etc. We filled our cart with everything we needed (and more), then pushed the cart out into the parking lot, forgetting that we were in a two seater Mazda Miata with no real trunk space until it was way too late. Determined not to do that to myself today, I tried to be mindful of the space. But oh, how that 1/2 gallon of fresh-squeezed tangerine juice called to me!
Four bags and $58 later, I trudged out to my bike and the "basket," not sure how this was ever going to work. Somehow, I got all the bags to fit, including one bag that only made it after I tied down to the crate with my bike chain and lock. Things would have fit much better without the tangerine juice, but it was too late now. And there was no way I was giving that up! As I rode home, I felt really proud of my accomplishment. I had gone on my bike to get my family's groceries. I had gotten exercise in a productive way that met my need for time outdoors. I had left my car in the driveway and saved gasoline. And it was really simple. Fabulous.
What kinds of things have you done to simplify your grocery shopping? Where do you shop?
 |
| Ryan and Josh on the Trail |
Today we took our first family bike ride down the Pinellas Trail to a restaurant for lunch. Ryan has been wanting to do that since we moved in, but we've been a little busy trying to find our basic supplies from boxes (or remembering where we put them away...). It was great to get on our bikes and go somewhere together as a family leaving the car in the driveway! I need to get one of those little odometers for my bike so that I can see how far I'm actually riding. All I know is that I've put more miles on my bike in the past week than I have in the last 6 months!
And today, I took my first trip down to Steve's produce stand on my bike to buy our groceries for the week. That was an adventure in and of itself! Yesterday, Ryan put a basket on my bike so that I could carry things (mail, groceries, stray animals, etc...). Actually, it is a plastic milk crate because Ryan decided that a "basket" wouldn't hold up to the level of work I'm going to need it to do!
 |
| The Pinellas Trail |
As I was riding to Steve's, I found myself wondering if this was really simpler. Is it simpler to jump in the car and go to Publix (1.2 miles from my house)? Maybe. It would take less time. But it would also mean jumping into the car and I really want to stay out of the car when possible. Is riding a bike the easiest way to simplify? Well, walking would take way too long. It would not be fun for me right now. That would be more complicated, since I'm still trying to get settled in my new home. And I'd be grouchy if I had to walk that far every time I needed a tomato. How did our ancestors travel? The lucky ones had a horse. As I thought about that, I decided that, for me right now, having a horse is way more complicated. Horse maintenance, horse-shoes, horse food, a barn, etc... really pushes it over the top. Bikes, on the other hand, don't need to be fed and need very little maintenance. Yes, simpler, I think. Going to stick with my bike.
I think being outside is better and simpler. I'm not burning any fossil fuels when I fire up my bike with Rebecca power. And I am outside in the fresh air the whole trip. (Steve's has a small part inside, but the rest of the shopping is outside, too.) I find that the mega stores are filled with lots of things that I don't really need, so not shopping there probably saves me money. What else do I need? Time outside. Fresh air. Exercise. And I need it to be meaningful. For me, jumping on a treadmill isn't my idea of fun. I'd rather have a purpose for my exercise or just skip it. I mean, our forefathers and fore...mothers didn't have treadmills or the gym and they were fit. They had to walk everywhere, they had to fetch their own water from the well or river, and just staying alive required them to move their bodies. Now, I really don't want to have to find a spring to get my water from at this point, but I think there is still a take home lesson here. As we've gotten more and more technology to "help" us with our daily living tasks, we spend less time moving our bodies. And I know that I spend far too much time indoors! So I've decided to use this opportunity to enjoy some outside time, shop as locally as possible, get some exercise, and complete a meaningful task.
I arrived at Steve's and found a basket to do my shopping. So many beautiful fruits and veggies today, but I worked hard to stick to my list. I had flashbacks of moving to Fort Lauderdale in 1994 as newlyweds when we had first gotten a convertible. We went to Walmart to buy things we needed for our new apartment, like trash cans, brooms and mops, etc. We filled our cart with everything we needed (and more), then pushed the cart out into the parking lot, forgetting that we were in a two seater Mazda Miata with no real trunk space until it was way too late. Determined not to do that to myself today, I tried to be mindful of the space. But oh, how that 1/2 gallon of fresh-squeezed tangerine juice called to me!
Four bags and $58 later, I trudged out to my bike and the "basket," not sure how this was ever going to work. Somehow, I got all the bags to fit, including one bag that only made it after I tied down to the crate with my bike chain and lock. Things would have fit much better without the tangerine juice, but it was too late now. And there was no way I was giving that up! As I rode home, I felt really proud of my accomplishment. I had gone on my bike to get my family's groceries. I had gotten exercise in a productive way that met my need for time outdoors. I had left my car in the driveway and saved gasoline. And it was really simple. Fabulous.
What kinds of things have you done to simplify your grocery shopping? Where do you shop?
Saturday, April 2, 2011
How did we get here?! Seriously.
My husband, Ryan, and I have never been complicated people. We like to be together and we've generally arranged our lives so that being together is possible and likely. We've made many decisions over the years that have been difficult, but our underlying value is that we decided to be a family and that means that we need to create time to enjoy our own company.
Many of our previous moves have been so that we could afford for me to stay home with our kids, either because of a particular job or an affordable house in a good location. In the past, we've consciously lowered our expenses by turning off the cable or cutting back on the amount of driving we've been doing. We've sold vehicles because they're low mileage as the price of gas went up. And we chose the location of our house for my husband's previous job so that we could all be home together as much as possible.
When we moved into this house, I was homeschooling our kids. We lead a really simple life, staying at home or in our neighborhood most of the time. We usually had one big outing a week to go to our homeschooling co-op, which I think I enjoyed and needed as much as they did! Our homeschool co-op was about 50 minutes away from where we lived (ironically, close to where we're moving), but living so far away meant that we were out of the middle of the chaos of the city. This is the way we liked it. We could keep things simple, spend our time cooking together, and enjoying each others company. And Ryan was home as much as possible, so that he could enjoy being with the kids, too. I guess that's one of the reasons Ryan has always gravitated toward education as a profession. The hours and the time off are much more family-friendly than most jobs.
Ryan had been in education for over a decade with a three year divergent career in engine sales. Like for cars and trucks. He was very good at selling re-manufactured engines and transmissions, earning the rookie of the year designation, a trip to the Bahamas for his area team, and some nice bonuses that aren't part of the education world. But he was gone a lot. He was working 12-14 hour days and then traveled for one entire week a month. I was home with the kids full time, including our newborn son, Josh. Eventually, he realized his heart was in education and he set out to find a way to be able to afford to feed our family AND contribute to the world in a positive way. Ryan decided to pursue his masters in Ed Leadership to eventually become a principal at an elementary or middle school. We thought that this job would give us the financial security we needed and hours that were compatible with our family life. We also thought this job would be a good fit for his skills, talents, and interests.
We knew that he could get an Assistant Principal job anywhere in the county we were living in, so we decided it would be best to choose a central location when we started looking for a house. Since we were homeschooling, schools didn't matter and I didn't even look at them.
We found "the perfect" house in a quiet neighborhood on a cul-de-sac street, just like we had wanted. It was our dream house with a huge expanse of nature preserve in the backyard with nearly 18,000 acres of woods and rivers to explore. Yes, this was my man's dream come true. And all three of the men in my life explored those woods! Like the first pioneers, they hacked trails with a machete (before eventually surrendering to modern technology, using a chain saw). They even eventually figured out how to cross the river without the help of a bridge, just as the first explorers would have done hundreds of years ago in the native Florida swamps. My kids know what to do if (when) they see a rattlesnake and my youngest son spent hours on a swing hung from a 200 year old tree at the edge of the woods. My 7 year old also knows what a cypress knee is and what a cypress swamp looks like in a rainy season and dry season.
I know that if our lives had continued on in this direction, things would have been great. What a life, right?
However, when my husband got his job as an Assistant Principal, he didn't like it. Let me say that another way- he really enjoyed certain aspects of his job, but it wasn't turning out to be a good fit for him overall. Perhaps he is too progressive for our schools right now and maybe he was seeing that the schools he was at really didn't have the best interests of kids at heart and that's what he is all about. Add to that the long hours, a grumpy disposition, and lack of energy for anything other than his job and it soon became clear that he needed another job. Stat.
In the meantime, I had started driving my kids to the Suncoast Waldorf School about 50 minutes away from our home. Being in public education, my husband thought that they should be going to public school. When that option wasn't working for our kids, he reluctantly agreed for me to take them to this private school I had found. I knew Waldorf and had actually been studying it for years, and even homeschooled using a Waldorf curriculum. When Ryan would share his tales of woe about the public schools, for years I had been saying, "You know what they do about that in Waldorf schools?" Honestly, I don't think he heard much of what I said, but he let me take them anyway. Since they were in different counties and the vacation time often didn't line up, on his time off from work he would go down and volunteer at the school. The longer he was there, the more it grew on him. I had been saying for years that he is, at his core, a Waldorf teacher. But he had never given it much thought until he really started spending time at the school.
One day we were talking and I asked him what he would do if he didn't have to worry about making money. He thought for a minute and then replied, "I'd go volunteer at the Waldorf School." Pause. Me: "Honey, I think they'd pay you to work there. Why not explore that option?" And so he did and within a month or so, he was hired.
This was GREAT! This was beyond my wildest dreams! He had always wanted his kids to go to the same school he worked at. In fact, when Zack, our now 12 year old, came home from the hospital, one of the first dreams Ryan shared with me regarding Zack was seeing him with his little backpack, hand in hand, going off to work and school together. This meant that he would finally have that dream realized.
But that also meant that he was going to be working 36 miles away from home. It meant a long commute, long days for all of them, and a lot more complication than I really wanted in our lives. But he wasn't ready to move. And maybe that was wise. Perhaps he needed to try it out and see if he enjoyed teaching there. We could wait to see how this unfolded.
So here we are, nearing the end of March, seven months into spending at least 10 hours in the car each week, being away from home most of the time, and we're finally on our way! Today we get the key to our new house and we start this next phase of our latest adventure! I'm going to be exploring ways to make our lives simpler, less chaotic and stressful, so that we can spend more time together enjoying each other. Maybe you'll get some ideas you'd like to try, too, as we move through our journey together.
Why give up what we have? Because people are more important than things. Because my kids don't need to be traveling 75 miles per day. Because time is precious. We're giving up a lot according to the material culture we live in, but we're gaining something worth more than any "thing" in the world- we're investing fully in our family. I don't know exactly what tomorrow will hold, but I know that our priorities are in the right place for us.
As I close, a Ferris Bueller quote comes to mind: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
Here's to stopping and looking around!
Many of our previous moves have been so that we could afford for me to stay home with our kids, either because of a particular job or an affordable house in a good location. In the past, we've consciously lowered our expenses by turning off the cable or cutting back on the amount of driving we've been doing. We've sold vehicles because they're low mileage as the price of gas went up. And we chose the location of our house for my husband's previous job so that we could all be home together as much as possible.
When we moved into this house, I was homeschooling our kids. We lead a really simple life, staying at home or in our neighborhood most of the time. We usually had one big outing a week to go to our homeschooling co-op, which I think I enjoyed and needed as much as they did! Our homeschool co-op was about 50 minutes away from where we lived (ironically, close to where we're moving), but living so far away meant that we were out of the middle of the chaos of the city. This is the way we liked it. We could keep things simple, spend our time cooking together, and enjoying each others company. And Ryan was home as much as possible, so that he could enjoy being with the kids, too. I guess that's one of the reasons Ryan has always gravitated toward education as a profession. The hours and the time off are much more family-friendly than most jobs.
Ryan had been in education for over a decade with a three year divergent career in engine sales. Like for cars and trucks. He was very good at selling re-manufactured engines and transmissions, earning the rookie of the year designation, a trip to the Bahamas for his area team, and some nice bonuses that aren't part of the education world. But he was gone a lot. He was working 12-14 hour days and then traveled for one entire week a month. I was home with the kids full time, including our newborn son, Josh. Eventually, he realized his heart was in education and he set out to find a way to be able to afford to feed our family AND contribute to the world in a positive way. Ryan decided to pursue his masters in Ed Leadership to eventually become a principal at an elementary or middle school. We thought that this job would give us the financial security we needed and hours that were compatible with our family life. We also thought this job would be a good fit for his skills, talents, and interests.
We knew that he could get an Assistant Principal job anywhere in the county we were living in, so we decided it would be best to choose a central location when we started looking for a house. Since we were homeschooling, schools didn't matter and I didn't even look at them.
I know that if our lives had continued on in this direction, things would have been great. What a life, right?
However, when my husband got his job as an Assistant Principal, he didn't like it. Let me say that another way- he really enjoyed certain aspects of his job, but it wasn't turning out to be a good fit for him overall. Perhaps he is too progressive for our schools right now and maybe he was seeing that the schools he was at really didn't have the best interests of kids at heart and that's what he is all about. Add to that the long hours, a grumpy disposition, and lack of energy for anything other than his job and it soon became clear that he needed another job. Stat.
In the meantime, I had started driving my kids to the Suncoast Waldorf School about 50 minutes away from our home. Being in public education, my husband thought that they should be going to public school. When that option wasn't working for our kids, he reluctantly agreed for me to take them to this private school I had found. I knew Waldorf and had actually been studying it for years, and even homeschooled using a Waldorf curriculum. When Ryan would share his tales of woe about the public schools, for years I had been saying, "You know what they do about that in Waldorf schools?" Honestly, I don't think he heard much of what I said, but he let me take them anyway. Since they were in different counties and the vacation time often didn't line up, on his time off from work he would go down and volunteer at the school. The longer he was there, the more it grew on him. I had been saying for years that he is, at his core, a Waldorf teacher. But he had never given it much thought until he really started spending time at the school.
One day we were talking and I asked him what he would do if he didn't have to worry about making money. He thought for a minute and then replied, "I'd go volunteer at the Waldorf School." Pause. Me: "Honey, I think they'd pay you to work there. Why not explore that option?" And so he did and within a month or so, he was hired.
This was GREAT! This was beyond my wildest dreams! He had always wanted his kids to go to the same school he worked at. In fact, when Zack, our now 12 year old, came home from the hospital, one of the first dreams Ryan shared with me regarding Zack was seeing him with his little backpack, hand in hand, going off to work and school together. This meant that he would finally have that dream realized.
But that also meant that he was going to be working 36 miles away from home. It meant a long commute, long days for all of them, and a lot more complication than I really wanted in our lives. But he wasn't ready to move. And maybe that was wise. Perhaps he needed to try it out and see if he enjoyed teaching there. We could wait to see how this unfolded.
So here we are, nearing the end of March, seven months into spending at least 10 hours in the car each week, being away from home most of the time, and we're finally on our way! Today we get the key to our new house and we start this next phase of our latest adventure! I'm going to be exploring ways to make our lives simpler, less chaotic and stressful, so that we can spend more time together enjoying each other. Maybe you'll get some ideas you'd like to try, too, as we move through our journey together.
Why give up what we have? Because people are more important than things. Because my kids don't need to be traveling 75 miles per day. Because time is precious. We're giving up a lot according to the material culture we live in, but we're gaining something worth more than any "thing" in the world- we're investing fully in our family. I don't know exactly what tomorrow will hold, but I know that our priorities are in the right place for us.
As I close, a Ferris Bueller quote comes to mind: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
Here's to stopping and looking around!
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